Lithium Magazine
  • Home
  • About
    • Editors
    • Writers
    • Artists
    • Photographers
  • Contact
    • Work With Us
  • Events
  • Shop
  • Read
    • Sex & Love
    • Culture & Entertainment
    • News & Politics
    • Life
    • Photography
Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
Followers
Followers
Lithium Magazine
Lithium Magazine
  • Home
  • About
    • Editors
    • Writers
    • Artists
    • Photographers
  • Contact
    • Work With Us
  • Events
  • Shop
  • Read
    • Sex & Love
    • Culture & Entertainment
    • News & Politics
    • Life
    • Photography
  • News & Politics

White People, Why Is It So Hard to Dump Your Racist Friends?

  • September 29, 2020
  • 2 comments
  • 4 minute read
  • Aarohi Sheth

Following the killings of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd, the Black Lives Matter movement became more powerful than ever. The country reached its boiling point: the streets were pulsing with protesters, and social media was flooded with radical literature and declarations of support.

But among all these demonstrations, there has been an influx of performative activism—especially from white people. 

When I say “performative activism,” I’m referring to the people who suddenly started filling their social media accounts with posts about institutional racism, but didn’t seem to be weaponizing this newfound anger in their day-to-day lives.

I realized that these were the same people who maintained relationships with racists and felt as if reporting those friends’ behaviors to me was somehow redeeming. What they failed to recognize was that staying friends with racists reinforces white supremacy. 

In a Huffington Post article entitled “Yes, You Should Speak Up If Your Family or Friends Posts Something Racist,” Elizabeth McCorvey—a clinical social worker and therapist who offers anti-racism courses in North Carolina—stresses the importance of white-on-white conversations. More specifically, people of color “need [white people] to talk about what it means to be Black in America and, more important, what it means to be white. People of color have historically depended white-on-white conversations happening in the home and still are today.” As she puts it, “the conversations with family might be annoying to you, but they’re traumatizing, harmful and invalidating for me.”

By keeping these relationships, you’re inherently stating that it’s not a big deal to be a racist. To you, justice and anti-racism aren’t important enough for you to let go of this relationship. You’re literally surrounding yourself with racism and, in turn, showcasing your disregard for marginalized groups. There’s an implication that your friendship with this white person is more important than justice for said marginalized groups. 

Being aware of a person’s racism isn’t enough, and reporting their racism to a friend of color is also not enough. We don’t want to hear a story about when someone said or did something problematic and you stayed silent. That’s not comforting at all. In the same vein, trying to excuse these friendships by proclaiming that you yourself aren’t racist is—to be blunt—incredibly flawed logic. 

We need you to see the sheer hypocrisy in having relationships with racists while your social media is plastered with support for anti-racism. The nonchalance and ignorance you radiate by keeping your microaggressive, racist friends around cannot be balanced out by posting #BlackLivesMatter before three glossy pictures of you having brunch or tanning at the beach. 

You aren’t an activist or an ally just because you reposted a petition link or documented the one protest you attended. You become an activist through listening to the communities that need your help, by reading up on the origins of police institutions (spoiler: groups of cops were first organized to control immigrants and catch runaway enslaved persons), and figuring out how to leverage your privilege for good. You can’t really do all this when you’re still friends with racists. 

Calling out and cutting off racist friends is one of the first steps you can take to work on becoming actively anti-racist. Asking yourself why your friend’s racism isn’t a deal-breaker is a pretty good start, too. The people with whom you surround yourself within your everyday life shows who you are. Your social circle is a much better reflection of who you are as an “activist” than your manicured online accounts. As cultural theorist Kwame Anthony Appiah put it in The New York Times, “what most effectively discourages the expression of backward views isn’t rational argument but social sanction. A loss to you could ultimately be a gain for others.”

By continuing friendships with racist and problematic people, you’re sending a message—whether you like it or not, and whether you intend to or not. You’re saying that, despite your claims of being an ally, it’s okay to hang out with someone that doesn’t agree with my right to exist, as long as they’re a fun time. 

To me, being in any kind of relationship with a person like this would be painful, something I couldn’t possibly support. To you, their microaggressions and racist behavior are merely an annoyance, a source of discomfort, a small downside to your friendship. It’s easy to let racist behavior slide when you’re not the target.

So do better. Cut off your racist friends. Doing so will send more of a message than your social media presence ever could.

And in the meantime, open your pockets for these organizations:

Black Lives Matter

Minnesota Freedom Fund

National Bail Out

The Bail Project

Campaign Zero

 

By Aarohi Sheth

Illustration by Julia Tabor

Related Topics
  • Aarohi Sheth
  • activism
  • black lives matter
  • friendship
  • Julia Tabor
  • LUXURY
  • racism
  • social media
Previous Article
  • Life

A Love Letter to the Subway and the Simple Luxuries of Pre-Pandemic Life

  • September 28, 2020
  • Sophia Peyser
View Post
Next Article
  • Life

Why Motherhood Scares Me Shitless

  • September 30, 2020
  • Eliza Rudalevige
View Post
You May Also Like
View Post
  • News & Politics

Dear Gen Z, We Have to Stop Stanning Progressive Politicians

  • September 8, 2021
  • Sophia Moore
View Post
  • News & Politics

A Beginner’s Guide to UBI

  • September 7, 2021
  • Sophia Moore
View Post
  • News & Politics

Hey, Leftists! STFU and Meme for Once!

  • August 31, 2021
  • Kenneth Kim
View Post
  • News & Politics

Western Journalism Failed Palestine—Social Media Didn’t

  • June 11, 2021
  • Kelly Pau
View Post
  • News & Politics

What #StopAsianHate Missed

  • May 4, 2021
  • Sarah Mae Dizon
View Post
  • News & Politics

The Biden Administration’s Hypocrisy

  • April 30, 2021
  • Kenneth Kim
View Post
  • News & Politics

Our Bodies Are Political, and Masks Force Us to See It

  • April 26, 2021
  • Sheena Holt
View Post
  • News & Politics

Adopting the IHRA Definition Won’t Eradicate Anti-Semitism

  • March 29, 2021
  • Rebecca Driker-Ohren
2 comments
  1. Rohini Kudva says:
    October 3, 2020 at 4:54 pm

    Performance Activism also reminds of slacktivism, where people do all this social media stuff and then don’t follow it up with substantive action. I really enjoyed this post!

    Reply
    1. Aarohi Sheth says:
      October 3, 2020 at 11:41 pm

      exactly! and thank you so much, I loved your post about slacktivism!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Featured Posts
  • 1
    We Can Still Be Vulnerable in the Eyes of Others
    • March 8, 2022
  • 2
    Lena Dunham’s “Sharp Stick” Nails Sexual Awakening in the Digital Age
    • March 7, 2022
  • 3
    F*ck Your Boy Genius—He Doesn’t Exist
    • March 4, 2022
  • 4
    It’s the Perfect Time to Watch Todd Haynes’s Films 
    • February 22, 2022
  • 5
    “She’s Just Like Me”: The Allure of the Writer Diary Twitter Account
    • February 21, 2022
Recent Posts
  • What Sex and Healing Are Like for Survivors of Female Genital Mutilation
    • February 18, 2022
  • The Feminine Urge to Not Shower
    • February 17, 2022
  • The Ethics of Social Media Screening
    • January 20, 2022
Categories
  • Culture & Entertainment (181)
  • Fashion & Beauty (36)
  • Life (170)
  • News & Politics (80)
  • Photography (63)
  • Sex & Love (75)
Search

Input your search keywords and press Enter.